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Achieving Social Repose: Letting Others Have a Gay Old Time

Some people claim that gay sex is an abomination and often equate it with bestiality. But that doesn’t really seem fair, because when you look lustfully into the eyes of a dog it can’t whisper “take me” into your ear or thank you for bringing it to Red Lobster and paying for its shrimp scampi. Still, everyone has the right to be completely grossed out by homosexuality, if they want to, but nobody should ever have the right to infringe upon another person’s lifestyle. The planet feels like it’s getting smaller everyday and we’re all going to need to either commit to some sort of twisted murder lottery that thins out the population dramatically or just stop stepping on each other’s toes while occasionally trying to put ourselves in those same trampled upon shoes.

Celebrating being gay doesn’t necessarily need to entail waving your bedazzled junk around in a parade like your guiding taxiing airplanes on a runway. While I personally support and enjoy every ounce of crazy pageantry that goes into a gay pride parade, I can see why some people might be opposed to a man wearing a windsock and ass-less chaps in public. Not everyone is comfortable with the general idea of sex, let alone a type of sex that is entirely foreign to them. With all that beefcake on display, who knows what intense thoughts people are trying to suppress?

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Despite how visually awesome and vibrant it all is, nobody in the pride parade really needs to be baring it all in Technicolor nudity. That’s just icing on the pride cake but not everyone likes a lot of icing. So we need to be open to the idea of people being uncomfortable when presented with such concentrated gayness but still supporting their right to exist. That’s the good news. Supporting gay rights doesn’t mean suddenly supporting the gay community in everything that it does.

You, as an individual, are entitled to make up your own mind and support someone else even if you don’t identify with them. In New York, this is the gayest week of them all (Pride Week) and, whether you support or oppose the homosexual lifestyle or LGBT community, I think we can all agree not to be raving lunatics on the subject. Nobody wants your hot breath and spit on them while you shout your opinions into their face. Whatever your take on it is, give it to the world calmly and start a dialogue rather than an argument. There is no need to get all frantic because, whether you want it to or not, gay sex is happening. It’s happening like crazy and the people involved are loving every filthy second of it.

If you are a person who doesn’t believe that love in the LGBT community is authentic I have brief anecdote for you. I once saw a man at a burger joint who could only be described as the frumpy offspring of Mr. Clean and Mr. Bean. Now I’m not saying this because I believe that two fictional male characters could produce offspring, although that would be awesome. I’m saying this because this gentleman was clearly hideous yet still appeared to have an adoring boyfriend. They clearly loved each other because, going strictly by all physical standards of beauty that are currently in existence, lust was probably not an option.

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Listen, it’s just easier to get through your day without hating people. If, for whatever reason, you feel that homosexuality, bisexuality or transgender life is truly awful and still read this far into the post, I can promise you that your own life will be richer if you stop worrying about it and just try to be cool with everyone. You don’t have to go out and befriend anyone you don’t want to, you don’t have to suddenly become an LGBT ally and you certainly don’t have to change your own lifestyle. You don’t even have to change your opinion on homosexuality being a choice or not, because none of this gay stuff has anything to do with your life, this is about other people. You’re not in danger, your children aren’t in danger and your personal faith isn’t in danger. You don’t have to be scared or angry about this. There are a lot of other better things to be upset about, here is a short list:

-Overpopulation
-Wars
-Poverty
-Overeating
-That stupid hat you wear all the time that you think looks good
-Not dealing with your own problems
-Violent crime
-Diseases
-That annoying buzzing sound the refrigerator keeps making
-Drug addicted babies
-Inequality
-That TV show you liked that got cancelled

Life is a struggle for all of us and the absolute least we can do is attempt to make it a little more bearable for each other. Do yourself a service and take in the world as you see it, not as someone else has taught you to. I am betting that, after a little practice, you’ll not only see things differently but more completely too. Give a person the opportunity to let you down instead of condemning a whole group.

Get weird. Get free. Get going.


Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

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